Alice Cooper – Along Came a Spider (2008)

You have to wonder what happens to musicians once they grow older than the earth itself. Well, sixty-year-old Alice Cooper delivers the answer. They don’t lose their talent to perform (the show I saw a few years back was still amazing), but apparently they have no idea how to create original content anymore. Along Came a Spider was released yesterday and as an old-school rock fan I couldn’t resist to get it immediately. Sadly I have to report that the album didn’t turn out so well. Cooper was once the Prince of Darkness, mothers used to shield their kids from his music and his concept albums (Welcome to my Nightmare) were the things that nightmares were made of. Not anymore. Along Came a Spider sounds like a feeble attempt to channel the golden days, telling the story of a tidy serial killer called Spider, who kills his victims, covers them in a silk web and cuts off one of their legs, to create a human spider. It all goes wrong, when the killer falls in love with one of his victims and …zzzZZZzzz. Sorry I nodded off there for a second. Haven’t we heard these stories a hundred times already?

And what’s up with Cooper’s voice? It didn’t sound this damaged when I saw him on stage. The extreme usage of backing vocals and chorus effects makes it almost impossible to pick him out. The guest appearances of Slash and Ozzy sadly don’t save the record in my opinion. Somebody should be actually shot for the song “Wake the Dead”. And don’t get me started on the sudden fall into Britpop on “Killed by Love”, which is dreadful to say the least. It’s not that Along Came a Spider is musically bad all over; it is just not what I would call an Alice Cooper record (except for the song “Vengeance is Mine”, which is actually pretty cool). All in all I have to say that I’m disappointed in this release and I prefer to listen to his older records and leave this where it belongs, in oblivion.

4/10

cnspiracy

~ by cnspiracy on July 30, 2008.

7 Responses to “Alice Cooper – Along Came a Spider (2008)”

  1. This is a real Alice Cooper album because it has a scary story and a great concept and many hard garage rockers. This disc sound like it has came from the 70’s. Rock all over!!!

  2. You clearly have no idea what you are talking about. “Original content”??? Alice invented theatrical rock, and IS THE ORIGINAL, therefore this is the best.
    I think you are taking your rock and roll a little too seriously…..this is tongue-in-cheek. Next time, bring your sense of humor before reviewing an Alice Cooper album.

  3. Let me begin by saying this is Alice’s best release since Brutal Planet (if you don’t have Brutal Planet you need that one badly) At first, I thought it was only average. However, after four or five listens I really like the album. It invokes several different styles from various Alice eras. Give this album several listens before forming an opinion. For those of you reading this, I would take a chance on this album. There are so many different things going on musicially something is bound to stick with you.

  4. When you learn proper grammar, then this will be a review I take seriously.

    Don’t you people have editors, or do you not care about the quality of your work? It’s making it very hard to take this article seriously.

  5. First off all I’d like to thank everybody for speaking their minds. After all, that’s what the comment section is for. I’d like to take the time to reply to some of your remarks by saying, that a review is always something subjective. I only say what I personally think about the record. That of course by no means should reflect on the way you may feel about it. If you love it, then you have all right to do so, as much as I have the right to hate it. So instead of sinking to kindergarten level by saying that I have bad grammar and therefore can’t possible know what I’m talking about (first off all none of us at MFG are native English speakers and second I really don’t see where I should have really violated the English language in my review) or insulting me, you could have chosen to say what you like about the record just like Sandra did in her wonderful reply. Pages like these exist only to give opinions and not truths and the comment section gives everybody the right to post their own opinions and remarks. Just keep it clean people.
    To quote the Joker: “Why so serioussss?”

  6. Oh noes! We be butchering ze english language!!1

    Seriously though, dear Glen, where are those errors? It may be possible that my general language skills are failing me right now, because the insides of my head are twirling when I have to sort out the four different languages (Luxembourgish, German, French and English) we head to learn in primary and secondary school.

    Best regards!

  7. First of all the serial killer is named Steven, not spider, who is making yet another appearance on a Cooper album. While not his best album, if you pay attention to the lyrics, they are truly creepy this time around. A welcome addition to this years releases. I thoroughly enjoyed this album and is ten times better than Eyes of Alice Cooper. Although not as good as Dirty Diamonds. Awesome liner notes, which is quickly becoming a thing of the past. Based on lyrics alone, this album should worry parents a lot. I know reviews are subjective but I say thank god for Alice Cooper in a time when the whole world thinks Coldplay are a kick ass rock band. 8 of 10 for me.

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